Reasons Over Death

Disclaimer: Since Multiply will be gone by Decemeber, I decided to get my old pictures and save the blogs that I posted. Here's one. I think I wrote this 4th year in highschool or 1st year in College.

           Funny, how sometimes it is to take a death just to realize how important someone’s life was.  Indeed, there are people who give so much meaning to our lives even if they cross our path only very briefly. When they move on, they continue to touch our hearts. Could you imagine when the last time was we let these people know how happy we were that they had been parts of our journey? How lucky we were that they were been our friends and we love them so much?

            Loosing someone without a fight could be the hardest battle I ever endured. Knowing that me against the creator would be really such a difficult situation. When I lost my grandmother six years ago, it was such a surprise in the family. We all know that she was getting older and we are aware that she’ll never live longer. But it is not as early as what we expected. She left with happiness in her heart. Before she leaves, I asked her to forgive all my “kakulitan” and all the headaches that I gave to her. At this very moment I am sure that she is looking over me while I am writing this piece. It was the first time that I experience to lost someone that is part of my family/ life.

            The saying that “there are reasons for everything” always sticks in my mind. Yet I am sure that it is true. We will find out that in the end of the day, reasons are in the corner of our eyes. We just need to open them and let it to be understood.

            It has been three years since my best friend, Jonathan, passed away. No one can imagine how much I cried and how many days spent trying to understand why the Lord had to take him away. He died from an unknown disease. Even the doctors didn’t know what virus that he had. After three months of being bed-ridden, he finally gave up. He takes the hand of our Lord and leaving us all with questions of “why” in our heads. When the news of his departure reached our ears, I felt my knees go weak. All of a sudden, my surrounding went silent. The people were all in slow motion and the focus of the camera is only to me. Inch by inch, darkness filled the space. I looked around trying to absorb the reality of where I was and what happened. Step by step, it finally sinks in my mind. My bestfriend is gone.

            So many questions played in my mind at that moment. He wasn’t supposed to die yet, but God decided that it was the time. There are reasons that beneath our eyes. Reasons that God only knows. Why the Lord made that decision was the biggest question I am still trying to find an answer…and the answer is the reason of God.

            I still remember how we get along. He is the reason why I am part, until now, of a religious organization named SLK, an organization that I love the most. He used to invite me to join every activity that SLK will have. And yet, I really enjoyed their company. I deeply know myself through Jesus and Mary and I learned how important life is. I learned so many lessons in life and how truly Jesus loves us; meet new friends that I could share my feelings and dreams, my pains and tribulations. Until now, I always make sure to find time to spend in each activities of SLK.

            Everytime that I am with them, I feel like Jonathan is also there. Singing and dancing “Rejoice” with us. Laughing and talking with the other trainors and brothers. It made me happy everytime I saw them. It made me to realize that even though he was gone, there is still SLK that I could cry on in times of sorrow and to share my happy moments. I realized that this is the reason of God for me.

            I thought the death of Jon would be the last demise I will have. But I am wrong. Unfortunately, only this year 2006, two very important people in my life also passed away. The emotion went topsey-turvey.

            We felt we are in a roller coaster ride.

            First, my cousin, Kuya Greg died after he suffered cancer. Indeed, cancer is a very traitor disease. We thought that he is quite okay when we knew that he is out of the hospital. But as the days go by, behind our knowledge, he is getting worst. His family decided to take him stay at home and continue his treatment there. When the doctors confined him to have only one month to live, the family were strucked.

            Everything has a reason. We accept his death as what we should have to do. At the age of 44, I know that he have still something to give. But it is time for God to take him away from us. Each morning I always remember his kindness that he showed to us. In our silent prayers, we tell him how happy we are to have a cousin like him. He will always be remembered and forever will be in our hearts and with the people he touched lives.

            A month after, I got a message from my mom. Telling that my Tito-Ninong Vergel also passed away. Again, another member of the family passed away and met our savior Jesus Christ. The emotion went topsey-turvey. Questions begin to rumble on my mind. I was shocked knowing that he died so soon. Sadness fills my heart because I haven’t seen him before he left. I am so sorry also for not being there in his burial.

            There is a reason for everything.

            I think my Ninong have done enough in this world that’s why God had taken him already. I am still sad about what happened, I am very positive in the idea that wherever they, Jon, Kuya Greg and Ninong are now, they are all happy and at peace. Knowing that they are with God give me the purpose to believe that everything happens to people has a reason. Big or small, yet, there is a reason. We must only learn to accept them and live our life the way our Lord God wanted to.